Teens and Divorce

It is estimated that 40-50% of marriages in America will end in Divorce or Separation. Parents often get wrapped up in the break up and dealing with messy situations that it impacts their ability to do a good job of parenting their children. Research shows that parental conflict during divorce impacts the development and self esteem of a child. Children are often put in the middle, having to choose between who's side to take which can be detrimental to their well-being and is very distressing to them. Children feel sadness, fear and guilt by being in the middle of parents who are arguing. Teens often blame themselves for the parents' conflicts and worry about issues that parents may not even think to talk to their children about such as family's finances, living in a new home, parents having new romantic partners.

Divorce/Separation is hard on everyone involved in the family but there are ways to help your teens. By being open with your teens about what is going on in the family without talking negatively about the other parent and answering your teen's questions openly and honestly, it will help your child feel less anxious and confused about the changes taking places. This can be a challenging time and it is important when to know to ask for professional help:

When to ask for help:

• When co-parents cannot agree on parenting decisions
• When the child is reluctant to visit a parent
• When step-family issues are having a negative impact on parenting
• When there is ongoing high conflict between parents regarding the children
• When parents need help with parenting 

Remember that listening to your children and putting them above any conflict that you are having with your child's parent is the most important lesson to learn to help your family through this difficult time.  

Helpful Resources:

• Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce
• Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex
• Dealing with Divorce
• Parental Divorce and Adolescence

Grief Support in Los Angeles

Unfortunately we will all experience death of a loved one at some point in our lives. There are many different emotions that come up when we are grieving.  We may be sad, angry, scared, feel guilty or even relieved. It is often a confusing and difficult time and we often feel very alone, no matter what the age.

These are some of the many reasons why I am so grateful for organizations that support people during the grief process and serve on the Associate Board of Our House Grief Support Center. Our House's mission is to provide grief support services, education, resources and hope to children and adults. Our House is a place that children and adults can go to meet with their peers who are experiencing the same loss and feel supported during this time. They have locations in West Los Angeles and Woodland Hills and I encourage you to check out their website and read more about what they do. If you live in the LA area, please go take a tour of the facilities and feel the warm, welcoming presence of the building for yourself. They are a great resource to remember when you or someone you know experiences a loss.

I have participated in Our House's Grief Specialist Training and feel that the information I learned in the intensive training has provided me with more tools to help children through the grieving process. Their training is excellent and I highly recommend it to anyone interested in learning more about the grief process.

I am also looking forward to volunteering at Camp Erin this August! This is a great place for children ages 7-17 to get away for a weekend full of fun while connecting with other children who have also experienced the death of a loved one. The Moyer Foundation partners with Our House to put on the Camp every Summer in Los Angeles but there are many other Camp Erins that go all over the country in case you don't life in LA! Check out the website for more information!

Read more about Our House Grief Support Center and all of the great things they do!